When I first took the Tactical Analysis course, I was working as a CRSO at a gun range and teaching CCW and defensive pistol courses. My work as a self defense instructor was after I retired from a long career in healthcare. I had read Left of Bang 3 times and was eager to deepen my understanding of the observational skills explained in the book and incorporate them into my daily life, as well as my teaching. As I read through today's article I was struck by the idea of using these concepts in personal relationships; especially in parenting and navigating marriage. Avoiding the "BANG" of arguments that had the potential to become full blown fights in family relationships is something I had never thought of before, but it makes sense to me. Using the observational skills and understanding pre-threat indicators can be applied to getting left of bang and avoiding the all too common fights that occur in families. What do you think about this?
First, and most importantly, thanks for the commitment to learning the process and making it a part of your life. That’s impressive.
But to your point, the process can be applied to any event where “bang” is something you want early warning of.
In the context of families and marriages, recognizing the behavioral indicators that signal an argument is coming simply gives you options.
You can acknowledge your spouse's behavior, realize you might have done something that led to a disagreement, and get ahead of it.
You can recognize personal triggers that lead to arguments and choose to remove yourself from situations to prevent an argument/fight from happening.
You can monitor an argument that you’re a part of or between kids, and decide to let it go for a bit, knowing that some disagreement is healthy, but remaining ready to step in or intervene if you think it risks escalating into something larger than it needs to be or that would lead to an irreparable split.
You just have choices that simply aren’t present once you find yourself in an argument without any early recognition.
Thank you for your reply. We all have those things that can set us off. Most relationships have areas of disagreement, and, as you said, that is healthy. I heard a guy comment once that the problem with 2 people who agree on everything is that one of them isn't necessary. I simply saw that these principles of educated observation can help us avoid, or at least mitigate, an argument before it gets started, thereby staying left of bang in the most intimate of relationships. One can win the argument but lose the fight. Our goal should be peace and harmony. Being aware of the signs of a brewing conflict, and having enough humility to set pride aside, one can keep the fragile peace intact. I so appreciate the work you have done and are doing. It's an ever-expanding tool that can apply to all of life.
When I first took the Tactical Analysis course, I was working as a CRSO at a gun range and teaching CCW and defensive pistol courses. My work as a self defense instructor was after I retired from a long career in healthcare. I had read Left of Bang 3 times and was eager to deepen my understanding of the observational skills explained in the book and incorporate them into my daily life, as well as my teaching. As I read through today's article I was struck by the idea of using these concepts in personal relationships; especially in parenting and navigating marriage. Avoiding the "BANG" of arguments that had the potential to become full blown fights in family relationships is something I had never thought of before, but it makes sense to me. Using the observational skills and understanding pre-threat indicators can be applied to getting left of bang and avoiding the all too common fights that occur in families. What do you think about this?
First, and most importantly, thanks for the commitment to learning the process and making it a part of your life. That’s impressive.
But to your point, the process can be applied to any event where “bang” is something you want early warning of.
In the context of families and marriages, recognizing the behavioral indicators that signal an argument is coming simply gives you options.
You can acknowledge your spouse's behavior, realize you might have done something that led to a disagreement, and get ahead of it.
You can recognize personal triggers that lead to arguments and choose to remove yourself from situations to prevent an argument/fight from happening.
You can monitor an argument that you’re a part of or between kids, and decide to let it go for a bit, knowing that some disagreement is healthy, but remaining ready to step in or intervene if you think it risks escalating into something larger than it needs to be or that would lead to an irreparable split.
You just have choices that simply aren’t present once you find yourself in an argument without any early recognition.
Thank you for your reply. We all have those things that can set us off. Most relationships have areas of disagreement, and, as you said, that is healthy. I heard a guy comment once that the problem with 2 people who agree on everything is that one of them isn't necessary. I simply saw that these principles of educated observation can help us avoid, or at least mitigate, an argument before it gets started, thereby staying left of bang in the most intimate of relationships. One can win the argument but lose the fight. Our goal should be peace and harmony. Being aware of the signs of a brewing conflict, and having enough humility to set pride aside, one can keep the fragile peace intact. I so appreciate the work you have done and are doing. It's an ever-expanding tool that can apply to all of life.
Thanks Ernie!